My Heart Beats For You

 For Karen, My Heart Beats For You

I sometimes watch her sleep at night. I’ve been doing so for what seems like a lifetime. I’m memorized as her blond hair falls gently to one side and the lashes that line her eyes rest softly, and every so often flutter because her mind is still working. The mystery is knowing that when I see her in the morning there will be a yellow, disheveled mess all over her head, spiking in every direction, and I have to contemplate how that happens to someone who sleeps so still. I have the contours of her body memorized. It’s a body that I have been exploring since I was fifteen, and it hasn’t changed much through the years, so knowing every shape is not difficult. 

Have you ever met someone that you become more calm by simply being next to them? You swallow their energy and are more mindful of every breath and movement because you don’t want to miss anything. You realize life is about the moments and experiences, and with her, just lying next to each other is an adventure. Watching her gracefully walk from one side of the room to the other is a one act play. With so much going on in each step, from her bubbly toes, to the curve in her hips, and curious stare, she is a script that writes itself. Her touch is an experience, her laughter an addiction, and her mind a journey.   

 Love is simple with her, so why complicate anything? Some have asked, “How do you keep your relationship fresh?” My response is, “Don’t forget why you fell in love in the first place, and then wake up every day and fall in love again. When you kiss, do so as if it’s your first time and maybe your last. Never stop exploring one another and remember that your relationship is a journey, not a destination. Try to surprise her every so often. Maybe with a gift, or maybe changing directions in life, and perhaps by simply choosing to hold her for a little longer on a given day and acting like you will never let her go. Dance and play and challenge one another’s thoughts. Recognize when you become stagnant, and then shake things up by getting a bit crazy. Make her laugh.” At least, I think that’s worked for us. 

I am a beneficiary of love. It’s the greatest of riches and I have never needed anything else. For Twenty seven years we have been husband and wife. How did that happen? How was I so lucky to receive her time during this life? What brought our paths together so long ago? When we saw each other on the last day of our seventh grade year, did our souls collide right then and there? Was it destiny? I have had the privilege of witnessing her grow into a woman. One whose inner and outer beauty can turn me wild and tame me all in a single breath. I live my life for her, my partner, who puts up with the hardness in my head and the softness in my words. 

Karen, my heart beats for you. My love, because I found you, I have found me, and for that I am eternally grateful. There is a gift in the moments we have already had and every second that will follow. Let’s continue to breathe them in as we venture on this journey called life. I say venture because we do not know what this current life will bring, and frankly, I don’t want to. Instead, we shall explore, finding secrets in each other’s eyes, and hopefully one day, if we are so fortunate, hold our aged hands together as we fade away with a content smile on our faces. That would conclude a life well lived.  

Published by cmurphree1993

I am an educator, Young Adult Novelist, and I am passionate about helping people with depression and anxiety by sharing my own insights and experiences.

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