“Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.”
For many depressives, the thought of suicide becomes a fantasy. It is something that crashes through your brain and leaves you with a high because it would be the ultimate way out of the pain. For people that do not have depression or anxiety, you will be appalled by that statement and perhaps think I am advocating murdering yourself. This is about doing the opposite. It’s about surviving and living a full life and finding hope. However, for people with depression and anxiety, the thought of doing away with one’s self is very real, and gives some respite to the thought of living in such darkness and pain.
Suicide will stop the pain in this life, but the pain that you leave behind for others to swallow is a bitter seed that stays stuck in the survivor’s throat and grows with time. That seed becomes rotten over the years and never leaves. It chokes you in the dark hours of the morning when everything around you is quiet except for your mind. I am a survivor. When I was seventeen, my grandfather shot himself. I didn’t know him that well but it never the less had an impact on my thoughts. It scared me. This man who I did not know, my father’s father, a millionaire, always seemed invincible to me. My dad’s death was a suicide. When you decide to take yourself off dialysis and die within a week, you are committing suicide. My best friend shot himself in the head, and another close friend committed suicide by cop.
Suicide is a subject that we avoid, but I have been worried about the welfare of a few during this holiday season. It’s something that keeps me up at night, so I say we better talk about it. Ask people how they are. If they do not respond just know that they might not have the words to articulate what’s happening to them. The depressed and anxious mind wants to halt your words. Simply listen deeply, without judgment, to the person who is suffering in your life. Your caring may give them the hope they need.